Of course, I'm nesting! What else would you be doing if you knew your family was going to go from 7 to 9 in a relatively short amount of time?
I think my poor husband and family must think I'm nuts sometimes! During my pregnancy with David I pretty much nested solid for 7 months. His appearance on the scene was a bit unexpected. (I wouldn't call him a 'surprise' baby, more like 'shock and consternation' baby) Don't get me wrong though, he was very welcomed and we were thrilled to add him to our family! It's just that adding #5 to the family was very overwhelming to me at the time and I pretty much went into the mode that my personal activities and life would come to an end as I knew it, after his birth. Needless to say, I was in a nesting frenzy. It's actually much better this time around. I think the Lord finally has brought me to a place of "overwhelmingness saturation". Is there such a word? I finally realized that I really couldn't be any overwhelmed than what I was, you just fit one or two more in- it takes all your time and energy anyway, regardless of how many children you have.
So back to the present nesting situation. Nesting for me always includes cleaning out something and building something. So, for the cleaning out aspect, I have cleaned out the attic, several closets, an office, and several cupboards. Presently, I am working on the basement and the garage. What am I going to do with all this stuff? How about a garage sale?
Truth be told, I consider myself a recovering, "Antiquoholic". There was a time in my sordid past that I could be seen at every bloomin' auction, estate sale, or garage sale within a 60 mile radius of the home place. (probably a bit of an exaggeration) I was a fanatic. My twins knew their car seats and double stroller very well. In fact, Andrew pulled himself up for the very first time by a vintage 1950's bread canister at an auction in our nearby town. (I'm sure Freud would say my over zealousness to be out during that period of my life and about shopping (hunting) for my favorite things... old things, was a psychological reaction to the fact that I had just spent 3 months on bed rest in the hospital before the birth of my twins.) Sort of like flubber, where you bounce back to the extreme. Anyway, suffice it to say that I managed to acquire (all good deals of course) a lot of stuff in a short amount of time. My specialties for collecting have included; tables, chairs, cupboards(bead board are my favorite), tins, world globes, vintage tablecloths and aprons, architectural stuff, picture frames, mirrors.....on and on. LOL, I think I just listed what's on my sale bill for the upcoming garage sale!
Now, somewhere along the way the Lord gave me a wake up call. I have been a Christian since I was a little girl. I've always loved him and wanted to serve Him, but something happened along the way....I think its called apathy. I looked in my heart and all I saw was emptiness and deadness. I looked at my life and it didn't look different than anyone else. Did it look like I loved Jesus or stuff? Stuff, I guess. My spiritual life was dead and my walk with the Lord seemed invisible. He brought me to two verses and I just prayed them over and over again for months. (Psalm 42:1-2 and Psalm 63:1) It was during that time I began fighting a chronic illness. He finally brought me to the absolute end of myself. Then, he started digging me out of the pit. He started teaching me what it means to praise Him in spite of difficult circumstances. He showed me that pure joy is found only in His presence. He began teaching me that the rewards in life that are worth living for are always in Him. He showed me that a hard life doesn't mean bad and that an easy life doesn't always mean good.
And then along came Anne... He began showing me that to truly live, first I needed to die, to myself, to my plans, to my thoughts, to my future. Then, he could show me what He wanted for my life. And then, He planted within my heart an intimacy with Jesus that I had never known before. Jesus changed how I look at everything. He gave me a glimpse, maybe of what He sees, when He looks at a little girl with blond hair and an extra chromosome, named Anne. Most people see a genetic mistake. I see a miracle formed by the hand of God. You might think we are so great (we don't) for doing what we are doing - adopting 2 more children with Down Syndrome. It's not that way at all. You see, we know these children are at the heart of the God Almighty. Of course He desires to see all come to Him, but it is the weak, the humble, the down trodden, the disabled, that He will choose to bring the greatest glory to Himself. We are honored and humbled to be a part of His plan. James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and keep oneself from being polluted by the world." He is giving us the opportunity to live this verse out and if you think there is any good in any of this adoption journey that we are on, then what you see is Jesus and not us.
Whew....my goodness, how did I end up there? This post was supposed to be about nesting!
Hmmm...stay tuned for part 2 of nesting (the need to build something before adding more children), i.e. "Nesting - carpenter style" :)
This post is long enough!
