Shades...

Annie...

Emie...

Katie...

  (Thanks to Sam for the use of his Spiderman sunglasses!)

 

Helping Daddy rake crabapples!...

 

 

"New Sisters"

Annie has informed us numerous times that she has "new sisters". She is both elated and overwhelmed by this new twist in her life.

Today, she and Emie were playing on the little boys' playset upstairs...going up the ladder and down the slide over and over again. She excitedly turned to me and exclaimed, "chase," with a huge smile on her face. :)

She also gets very quiet and sometimes sad when they cry or have a tantrum. She is afraid to sleep with them in the little girls room. For now though, Emie and Katie have such a hard time settling down to sleep its almost simpler to have them separate. I look forward to when they are altogether though.

And, Annie has also been picking up Russian! Often, if I am calling her sisters to come or telling them to sit down or stay (all in Russian), she confidently and very bossy-like imitates me and tells them the same!

Thank you for all your encouraging comments on the previous posts. I feel better than even a week ago. Yesterday, for the first time in 3 weeks I wanted to take pictures of all the girls together. We have a long ways to go in the adjustment department but I know it will come.

And thank you to all of my wonderful friends who have been making us meals, doing our laundry, taking my older kids places and watching my younger children while I run errands. (Lee and I actually went out for a date Friday night! - thanks to the G's and my sister!) You have all been grace and mercy to me.

Thank you Laura, for helping me buy gates at Wal-Mart and arranging almost all of the above! What would I do without you right now. What an amazing friend you are!

And huge hugs to my sisters who came (from 100's of miles) to help this past week and weekend. I know you wiped more faces, hands and little bums than you have in years! Your presence helped bring back some of my sanity. I love you both so dearly!

Depression is a weird thing - you lose all perspective on life. Nothing looks like it really is but even though you know you're not seeing things accurately it doesn't change until you get better. I have felt some of my perspective returning. Thanks to all of you for praying for me. Thank you Jesus.

I miss you Papas and Nanas!

 

 

Sending you lots of smiles, hugs and kisses!

Love, Davey :)

The Thank You Post...

I’m sorry - I know this post is belated… for so long I have wanted to sincerely thank all of you who have helped us along this adoption journey! It has been incredibly challenging and we could never have done it without you!

First of all, thank you to our families and friends who took care of Sam, Anne, and David for 6 weeks! That’s a long time! It was such a comfort to us to know that they were always well-cared for and loved. Your willingness to be involved in our lives in this way was such a great blessing to us. You were really a miracle to us!

Thank you to those of you who donated to our adoption – some of you I know personally and some not. Your generosity has been very humbling to us. The Lord has provided for all that we need – thank you for being a part of that! Our family sponsorship fund is closed now that we are home but if you are interested in donating to another family or an orphan with Down Syndrome please go to http://www.reecesrainbow.com/

Thank you to all of you who prayed so diligently for us. I am amazed at how many people we have never met have followed our journey and told us how much they prayed for us. The power of the Father was released because of your faithfulness in prayer!

Thank you to all of you who commented on my posts! I’m sorry I wasn’t able to comment back much but please know they were a great encouragement to us. While in Ukraine, many mornings Lee would come home from the hotel where he could internet, with all of my email and blog comments for me to read! It helped keep us going!

Most of all thank you to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who has led us in the dark and in the light. Without Him we have nothing and with Him we have everything. He is the reason we have done this.

And finally, please feel free to follow along on our blog and watch our family grow! I might not post as often as I should but I will try! (when I’m not buried under laundry, or toys, or books, or perhaps knocked unconscious by a large, heavy, flying hardcover book – a favorite of small, angry, Ukrainian orphans!)

If you can bear to read through the length of the "long and the short of it post" you’ll understand the flying book comment…

The Long and the Short of it...

The last 2 weeks have been very difficult…

Katie Vika, (all things considered - having spent 5 years in an orphanage) is showing signs of positive adjustment. She is affectionate towards me. She is often interacting very positively with Annie and my other children. (playing etc...) We have a long ways to go in the hitting department but I know that will improve. She seems quick to pick up words and signs - today she heard us mention cookie in a conversation and immediately began signing it!

Emie Nastya is having a much harder time with all the transitions. She has many, many tantrums a day – which usually consist of covering her face with her hands, throwing herself to the floor, sobbing , then hitting and barking (I have no clue how to describe this - kind of like a yell or a grunt of UUUHH) at anyone who comes near her, or she’ll throw anything nearby. Sometimes she can be just delightful and other times she does this same tantrum thing at every single change of activity. I have thought much about her and am constantly trying to analyze her and I have come to the conclusion that cognitively she is quite competent – she too signs and says some words, but emotionally she is incredibly immature – kind of like a baby or young toddler? She seems to be able to focus in sometimes on repetitive activities, (i.e. – she can spend a long time drawing shapes with color wonder) but in other activities she seems to lack the ability to stay focused and is basically, constantly moving and getting into things. She does seem to like the Praise Baby and Signing Time videos and at times will sit for awhile for those.

I know this must be incredibly difficult for the girls. Their entire life has been turned upside down. Every security they had at the orphanage is missing to them. And, I know this is probably not unusual to be dealing with these issues but it is still challenging…

Honestly, the last 2 weeks have been some of the hardest of my life. I have been unable to tackle my blog or emails or much of my life. Personally, I have just felt myself unravel. It’s a terrifying place to be – to realize you are losing perspective on every area of your life. I think the stress and pressure of the last 8 months finally took its toll. I have debated how much to share on the blog because it is soooo public and mostly because if we ever choose to adopt again, I think people will always question my abilities. But, I am not into lying and I have found the Lord challenging me to be real. A year ago I could never have shared this openly – I am an incredibly private person. But, again and again on this journey the Lord has asked me to be transparent.

As our time in Ukraine began to (finally) wind down I became more and more anxious about the next step – namely…how would I be able to manage all these children? And with Lee in a recent job change, I would be alone a lot. And then, two days before our flight home, I woke up early, with the sickest, most panic feeling in my stomach….I kept asking the Lord, “Why on earth have we done this? Why on earth did we ever adopt 2? (Bear in mind we had already endured 2 days of tantrums, barking, and hitting) Well, every time, I asked Him that, the Lord just kept saying back to me, “The reasons are not earthly, the reasons are eternal. This is not about you . This is not about your life being easy or hard. This is about me. This is about bringing glory to me.” I tried to focus on those thoughts and yet…

As soon as we arrived home – it all came flooding toward me…the overwhelming feelings, the sense of deep regret for what we had done, the fear of what lay ahead, a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Most surprising to me was this immense sense of grief at the loss of the way my family used to be – I longed for just my 5 children and that was it. The only time I felt some happiness was when I was with Anne alone. A friend of mine said that after they adopted it felt like their whole family was thrown up in the air and when they all landed they were in different places but eventually they all fit together again. I have thought much about that. Fruit Basket Upset – Adoption style.

By the middle of last week, I couldn't hold it together any longer. I felt as if I had been hit by a mack truck. I am not normally an emotional person but I could not stop crying. I have had no sense of my ability to handle any of this and I felt incredibly trapped. And then it dawned on me - I have felt this one time before in my life. About 7 months after my twins were born I suffered from post-partum depression. After doing some research, Lee, found a condition quite similar called Post Adoption Depression.

Depression is like a darkness of the night – of the soul. There is no feeling of joy or hope – there is only fear and overwhelmingness.. (now I know there is hope – because there is always hope in Jesus, I just haven't felt it) I’m not sure what I thought coming home would be like…but this was not on my radar screen. Thankfully, we have wonderful family and friends who have been here for us. My inlaws and my sisters have been here to help. And we have a wonderful church family - so many are there for us. We’ve had delicious home cooked meals every night, my floors have been swept and vacuumed by many other people than myself, our clothes have been laundered…my boys have been taken to numerous activities, Iv’e been whisked off to Walmart for shopping therapy several times. (sorry Lee) Professionally and medically I have help as well. I know it will get better. The Lord will not leave me here. I know the Lord has a reason for even this.

So, I guess that was the “long” of the Long and the Short of it…the “short” of it is this…In spite of all the feelings I have or haven’t had in the last few weeks we know that we have done exactly what the Lord told us to do. We have been obedient to Him. He will show us the way. Eventually, our girls will hopefully stop hitting, and tantrumming, and barking. And our family will fit altogether again – actually it will be an even better fit than I could imagine…because Jesus is in the middle of all this.

Fun in the tub...and swings...

Enjoy the pictures!

I'm sorry I have been so lame about posting since our return home. It has been an incredibly difficult week and a half....when I get my thoughts together I will post some. (that is, unless I've lost them forever)

It has been cooler and rainy lately but in spite of that we are almost living in our backyard.

Thank you so much for praying for us and for all your encouraging comments. They mean so much to me!

Sisters with Ice Cream!

Hi guys, it's Laura here. In a effort to try to relieve some of Karen's "to-do" list, I bring you a post of photos. :) The girls enjoyed having ice cream together for the first time the other night. They are incredible girls!

This time of adjustment is overwhelmingly intense. I ask you to please, please stand with me in prayer for this family. I know Karen in very grateful for everyone's support and prayers. She will try to post when things settle down a bit. In the meantime, you'll just have to enjoy more photos! :)

A Family United--in pictures!

All TOGETHER at church...

Please keep praying as we adjust to life together.