How to outwit a Ukrainian orphan...

1. Go to Wal-mart and buy lots of gates and put them in every room in the house.
2. Go back to Wal-mart and buy even taller gates. Although Ukrainian orphans with Down Syndrome may not be as agile as their American counterparts because of institutionalized inactivity, they are still very flexible and appear to have an innate ability to flop their leg on the top of seemingly insurmountable gates and throw their body over said gate.
3. Tape the wet wipes box shut.
4. Tape the wet wipes box to the changing table. (so they don't run off to a hidden corner and remove the tape. )
5. Tape the light switch on or off, depending on desired light in room.
6. Unscrew the light bulb.
7. Move everything to the middle of the kitchen table so little Ukrainian hands can't quickly grab desired items and run.
8. Quickly realize that little Ukrainian arms can stretch further than one could ever imagine.
9. Move everything from the kitchen table to a very, very high place or a gated room.
10. Install safety cupboard latches on anything in the house that resembles a door.
11. Most definitely -put locks on all doors to the outside of the house. (in so doing unfortunately lock Daddy out of house)
12. At the dining room table - invest in booster seats that not only buckle to the chair but also buckle the little Ukrainian in place.
13. When eating at the table with one said little Ukrainian named Katie - keep a distance of at least one and a half arm lengths away from her - to prevent loss of your own meal to her mouth. (seriously - we have a large, old library table for our dining room table and she gets to use almost 1/4 of it!)
14. Definitely keep little Ukrainian buckled up after meal until absolutely everything is cleared off the table and back in the (gated) kitchen.
15. At bedtime sit outside door until little Ukrainians have fallen asleep.
16. Sit inside bedroom until previously assumed asleep Ukrainian orphans are truly asleep.
17. Sit outside room again at 3 or 4 in the morning when Ukrainian orphan decides its time to play.
18. Learn how to say, "Go to sleep" , "Be quiet", and "Stay in bed" in Russian.
19. Never, never let Ukrainian orphan have unrestricted access to the bathroom.
20. When orphan is given access to bathroom for toileting necessities, always remove toilet paper roll to a very, very high shelf.
21. Invest in house flood insurance for every time Ukrainian orphan takes a bath.
22. Increase flood insurance for times orphans are accompanied in bathtub by newly acquired little brother and sister.
23. Never, never forget a pen, pencil, marker, or anything resembling a writing instrument on table.
24. When painting windows on outside of house, always put paintbrush up high.
25. Be thankful you used latex paint after realizing your newly adopted Ukrainian orphan just painted your wife's clothesline pole, her own sweatshirt and then just wondered what American latex paint tasted like. (that's for you Lee:)
26. When mother of Ukrainian orphans is absolutely exhausted, gate TV room, put in Praise Baby or Signing Time, spread out blanket on floor, offer copious amounts of popcorn, and lay in recliner peacefully for at least 5 minutes before all 4 young children wiggle their way onto your lap.
27. Never assume that just because your backyard is fenced, an Ukrainian orphan won't find a place to wriggle under bottom board to follow the fleeing housecat named Scooter.
28. While relaxing in your backyard as all the children happily play, suddenly realize that one of your newly adopted Ukrainian orphans is standing out in the middle of the street.
29. Definitely add more boards to the bottom of the fence.
30. If you are the Daddy of an Ukrainian orphan, lay on couch or floor, pretend to fall asleep and then receive millions of tiny little kisses and hugs from newly adopted Ukrainian orphans. :)

Our house and family will never be the same...but oh how we love our Ukrainian orphans!!!