Day Six with the girls

7.29.08 @ 8 pm

We had a great day of visiting the girls today. After we arrived I went to find Vika. She was still in her bed – I couldn’t figure out if the orphanage workers were telling me if she was sick or just tired. She has been so quiet and non-smiling the last 2 visits I have been suspecting she wasn’t well. Nevertheless, she did want to go with me. I brought her back to Lee and the boys in the main foyer and then went to find Nastya. Nastya was with her little groupa, outside, up the hill, sitting under some trees. She is so affectionate. Now, whenever I come to get her, she comes running to me with her arms open wide.


After a bit of maneuvering we managed to get both girls outside. Vika’s group was also outside – only not up the hill, but close by to the building where there are a few pieces of decrepit play equipment. The weather was beautiful and we were glad to stay outside and play. Before long Vika made her way back to her groupa – I followed her. Nastya wanted to swing on the ancient swingset so Lee and the boys stayed with her. I am trying to familiarize myself with the children and workers in each of the girls groups and for now I have been focusing on Vika’s group. There were actually 2 groups out by the building today – Vika’s group and another one with smaller children. I went over by Vika and her group and the workers. They are very friendly, nice ladies. I have my Russian-English phrase book and attempted some primitive communication. They are such good sports. Eventually, with permission, I hope to take pictures of the girls’ friends (groupa) and their caregivers. So, as they grow older they will always have that as a remembrance of their childhood. I talked with the caregivers and attempted to interact with the other children as well. I also brought out my small photo album I have made of our family. I showed it to the caregivers. They were very interested in it. It was so fun to show them my other children, (especially Annie – everyone here is always amazed that we have an “invalid”, Russian term for special needs, child in our family and that we treat her just like all our other children). I also showed them photos of our house, the girls’ future room, our yard, etc…


Eventually Vika and 2 other little boys wanted to go back over to where Lee and Nastya and the twins were. So, we did. We all spent quite a while up the hill just a bit, in a shelter type building with benches and a small swing. Nastya, of course, wanted to swing most of the time. That girl could swing all day I think! (I believe her 2 favorite things in life are swinging and drinking from our water bottles) Vika just walked around holding our photo album. Samson was one of the little boys who came up with us. So, in the end we got to play with him too. He has a very crooked gait, but in spite of that he loved just running back and forth across the floor. When he smiles it goes from ear to ear!


After a while the caregivers came for the boys and we were left with just our girls. They wanted to go exploring down the path so we followed. Nastya went one direction – Daniel and I followed her. Vika went another direction – Lee and Andrew accompanied her. We spent the rest of the time with the girls separately. Nastya wanted to play on some other playground equipment so that is what we did. She has absolutely no fear of heights. In fact, she will climb up anything she can! And I mean anything! Vika, Lee and Andrew made their way behind another building, to a small swimming pool. She wanted to play with the water. In fact it was the first time in 3 days we’ve gotten her to smile. We have been told Vika loves the water and she loves to swim. That was quite obvious – it changed her demeanor completely. (As I said earlier, I don’t think she has felt well)

It is amazing to me how quickly, our girls have warmed up to us. They will both come running to be with us. They know when we come, it means they get attention and love and playing. Although, they do exhibit very typical orphanage behavior – whenever we give them a toy or book to look at, they quickly grab it, put it under their arm, run away to a place to be alone and try to look at it. They aren’t very open to us showing them toys or books. They pretty much want to take it and run. But, they have never known anything different. In an orphanage you always have to look out for yourself, even if you are only 3, 4 or 5 yrs. old. If you happen to have anything of value, (even if its temporary) you must fight all the other children to keep it. I see that. In preparation of this event I have read scads of books on adoption, attachment, and institutional behavior, etc…And now I am seeing it first hand – not just in my girls, but in all the children I am observing. I take every opportunity I have to observe my girls living situation. I believe they have kind caregivers but it is still an orphanage and not a family.

These visits are so necessary. Every time we come we build on our relationship and their trust of us a little more. It is interesting to me. Even though they have good caregivers, I don’t believe they have been held much. I don’t think any orphan has been held much. They obviously love to be with us and at the end of our visits, they never want to go. But, while we are visiting, they also do not want to be held or sometimes even touched. (There have been exceptions as you can see by the pictures) Nastya is at times, the exception here, as she sometimes will be very affectionate to us. The other day she went back and forth between Daniel and Andrew giving them hugs. That definitely melted their hearts.


I had an interesting conversation with our facilitator the other day. (Have I mentioned what a wonderful lady she is? We love her.) She asked me if I thought I could do it – take care of 2 more children with special needs. I told her honestly, sometimes I am incredibly overwhelmed at the thought. But, I know with certainty that if the Lord has called me to this, then He will provide what I need. I know, He doesn’t take us to hard places and leave us. He is always faithful.


My goodness that got a bit long. Sorry. Until next time, enjoy some pics!


Karen


Annie, David and Sam…I miss you and love you soooooooooooooooooo much!!! Sam, Curious George is busy having adventures here in Kharkov!!! Pictures will be coming soon! Love, Mom, Dad, Andrew and Daniel