Our visits...

...to our girls are getting better and harder...

Nastya and Vika are becoming more and more comfortable with us. The weather has been so nice - we have spent every day this last week outside with them.

When we first come to meet them, Nastya will always run to hug me but then she is off to play with Lee on the playset or just run and explore. She is definitely a Daddy's girl. In fact at times, she will push me away. I am not too worried about that though, because I know once we are home and Lee is back at work, we will have plenty of bonding time together. She is actually too big for me to carry for long, but Lee can do it fine. She basically wants to run or climb the entire time! If you see any pics outside with one of us beside her - it means she has stopped long enough for a picture - that is a near miracle! Although, on a rare occasion she will just go and sit inside the orphanage doorway - always on the same couch, and look at a few books. Not for long though, and then she is off again!

Nastya Signing "More"

For the most part, I have been accompanying Vika. During the last 3 visits we have spent almost the entire time with her on a swing and me pushing. It is good - she is relaxed. I sit in front of her on the ground. I think she is learning to trust me a little bit. I and sometimes the twins will sing her little songs and a couple times she even sang a little Russian song back to me. She will now let me carry her at times as well, which I like because then she is physically close to me. She is not comfortable with Lee at all yet and is cautious with the boys as well. She will often do her spitting or fist shaking at them. But I have noticed lately when I tell her "nyet (no) spitting" she smiles and laughs so at least I know now it is sometimes just a game and not always done out of fear or anger. Either way, she will have to unlearn that little endearing habit. I am no expert when it comes to attachment but I am sensing her attachment will be to me first and then with time, as she feels comfortable and safe with Lee and the boys, she can attach to them as well. She is really a very timid little girl, until she is comfortable in her surroundings and then she is Miss Bossy. Hmmmmmm....sounds like another little girl in my household I love!

Vika's Greeting Yesterday

So, our visits have settled into a pattern of sorts. I take Vika and Lee takes Nastya. The twins go back and forth between us and sometimes we are all together for short periods of time. I am wondering though, readers, if you have any thoughts or insight into all of this? Is this an ok way to be doing it? Being outside and playing is wonderful but it is very hard to keep them together and we almost always have to split up. Once we have the girls and are back at our apartment for a few days then we can work more on being together. And obviously, once we are home, we will as well!

Now, the harder part of our visits...is saying goodbye! As Lee mentioned in an earlier post, this is especially painful for Nastya. When we tell her "Mama, Papa - paka, paka,"(bye, bye) she fights us all the way back to her room and groupa. Then she starts sobbing, buries her head in her hands and basically just shuts down. Some of the caregivers are sympathetic and try to comfort her and some not so much. The time we leave is always her lunch time - at times she will refuse to eat and I know she retreats into her own little world and then sucks her thumb. For us, this is so hard to see. I know that when we come to get her, there will be no looking back for her! Even now, she constantly wants to go out of the orphanage gate.

When saying goodbye to Vika, she is not quite so emotional but I can see it is becoming harder for her too. Although she can often be distracted with the orphanage doll stroller or since it usually lunch time she can be convinced to sit down for lunch as she loves to eat! I have observed her often with her caregivers and I believe she has close relationships with several of them. I think it will be hard for her to say goodbye to them and vice-versa. Although, I know they are very happy to see her and Nastya be adopted and have a family!

(Hey, do me a favor, leave me a comment if you can or can't view the videos. It is the first time we've published a video on our blog. Lee can view them on his computer. I can't. I wonder if the rest of you can?)