Sand, sticks and smiles!

Sunday, 8.3.o8

We had another lovely day at the orphanage.  I believe the staff is much more relaxed on the weekends.  They don't seem as concerned about structure, or what we do, or where we go with the girls.  Lee took Nastya again and they played and played. The twins and I spent our morning primarily with Vika. She seemed happy and in a good mood  - I think I am making some connections with her.  When I went inside to get her she willingly took my hand and held it all the way to the playground area.  The last few visits we have ventured over to another area of the orphanage compound. There are a few pieces of nice, new equipment  - a slide and a seesaw -  the girls have lots of fun on these.  Today we (Daniel, Andrew, Vika and I) spent most of our time on this equipment and the pile of sand next to it.  There were other children from another building and groupa who shyly joined our play.  Eventually 2 of them had made their way into Daniel and Andrew's laps.  D and A played sand and sticks and held them and loved them too. Of course, I had our photo album with me, and spent quite a bit of time with their caretakers talking (as much as you can when all you have is a Russian phrase book and are absolutely ignorant of the language!).  I did eventually communicate how old Lee and I are, what our vocations are, where we are from and that I don't have a maid! (for some reason they wanted to know if I had a maid - I think most Ukrainians can't wrap their minds around someone actually having 5 children, wanting more, and being able to keep the house clean) Although, I can't say as I can claim a clean house! 

Once, when Vika was playing on the slide, she slipped at the bottom, and bumped her head. I don't think it hurt too bad - I think it scared her more than anything. But, anyway, she turned to me to hold her and love her - not for long, but a little bit.  That was huge to me.  Anyone who has read about attachment knows it is a good sign, first if your child will acknowledge pain, and then if they will actually seek you for comfort.  It was encouraging to me.  She is much different than Nastya - much more distant.  When she is afraid, unsure, or mad, she does this spitting thing and shakes her fist in the air at you.  In a way it is quite hilarious - Daniel can do a perfect imitation -  but obviously not appropriate and something we will not allow.   Today, I have been thinking a lot about her - I think she is timid and very afraid of new things, people, and situations. When she is in her comfort zone she is a different girl. I have observed her in her groupa - she is calm, expressive and communicative.  She understands and speaks perfect Russian.  She is obedient to her caregivers and actually is quite bossy and mothering of the other children at times.  I think when she is out of her comfort zone she is kind of like a  scared little kitten that lashes out because she doesn't know any different.  I know we will have lots of retraining to do with both girls.  You don't spend 4 or 5 years in an institution and come away without scars of some kind. 

Tonight (Sunday night), our facilitator returns. Tomorrow she will meet with the judge and hopefully set up our court date.  We hope it is early in the week! I will keep you posted.

Thanks for putting up with my rambling. Some pics from today...

 

Sam, Nastya and George are watching a movie together!